The page wants to describe a series of reasons why persons are not in a stable relationship, based on affection, or similar feelings. For that, I previously pray of excusing me a large part of my readers, because the content is chiefly referred to post-industrial societies, belonging to western countries. Generally, all over the cited countries some big social changes have happened, particularly during the last 3-4 decades. First, marriage is no longer bound to a successful life, because forming a new family has ceased to be the most important lifetime goal. Second, parents and relatives have lost the traditional role of giving a decisive impulse to marriages. Third, other contexts, such as the ambient of work, have stolen to marriage a notable part of the social relevance. Reliable studies have shown that in the USA the percentage of singles is at around the 30%. A similar trend is visible in the majority of other western countries. Honestly, I think that no lifetime choice is entirely voluntary, and that casualty is always a factor in everything human, more or less heavily. It doesn’t matter what persons say about themselves, everyone is a mixture of personal choices, more or less conscious, experiences, and social constraints. The fact needs to be underlined, especially before talking about what persons say to explain their status of singles. Am I saying that many humans are insincere about themselves? Not exactly, even if common persons are often ready to believe in their own insincerities. More than that, as written by the great Italian writer Luigi Pirandello, in societies everyone is inevitably wearing series of virtual masks, to be changed according to the different contexts.
At this point, I start to describe some reasons for being single. See the following list, with brief comments:
1) desire of maintaining freedom enough for flirting around; despite, many agree that the only way of having a frequent sexual activity is being in a stable relationship;
2) high expectations in the matter of the aspiring/potential partner; the satisfaction of expectations doesn’t guarantee a true long-term appreciation of the chosen partner;
3) avoiding conflicts in personal relationships; social life is exclusively made of conflicts, true or potential, weak or strong, previously regulated or not;
4) self-discovery, and development of identity; the best way of discover yourself is meditating about your reactions to interpersonal relationships, and your identity is defined by the ways you rise up after a fall;
5) fears connected to intimacy, vulnerability, and being rejected; when positive feelings are not strong enough, overthinking is a normal reaction, and a breakdown for fears;
6) past traumatic experiences; psychological traumas generate fears, hard to overcome;
7) economic pressures; sadly, money is always a big thing, all over the entire world;
8) alternative social orientation; an Italian proverb has a content similar to “tastes are tastes, said the devil while trying of improving the look of his horns”;
9) scarce ability in flirting; it seems to me that emotional participation is far more important than technical skills;
10) singlehood increases fitness; self-love is present in love acts for singles, even if they don’t seem better for fitness;
11) shyness, being introverted, health problems, disabilities; in effect, they are serious obstacles on the road to a happy sexual relationship, sometimes decisive.
In conclusion, I greatly appreciate those who answer "I don't know" to the question “why are you single?”, when their main effort is avoiding the explosion of the bomb named “depression”. In effect, a valid and sincere answer to the same question would be a partial mixture of the reasons from 1 to 11, with the addiction of personalized quantities of laziness and casualty. Definitely, something hard to communicate, even to your psychologist. As a web DJ, I have contributed to the topic of the page, by recording a mini-mix, made of songs whose lyrics can say something more to singles.
File name is “Max Look’s mini-mix, that’s why you are single (Halloween 2026)”, length 28’and 23”, contains excerpts of 21 danceable songs, talking about the reasons for being in a single status.
For more consciousness to singles, the playlist:
1) Everly Brothers – bye bye love
2) Edie Brickell & New Bohemians – nothing
3) Madonna – heartbreakcity
4) Articolo 31 – la fidanzata (I need a fiancée for getting my act together)
5) Little Milton – love is a gamble
6) Depeche Mode – it’s not good (Hardfloor mix)
7) Neil Young – tumblin’ thru the years
8) Wilson Pickett – save me
9) Saint Etienne – only love can break your heart
10) Spencer Davis Group – I’m getting better
11) Coldplay X BTS – my universe
12) Richie Havens & Pino Daniele – gay cavalier
13) Imagination – it’s an illusion (instrumental)
14) Kandi – don’t think I’m not (Ear Kandi mix)
15) P. P. Arnold – when I was part of your picture
16) Yola – dancing away in tears
17) XTC – I’m the man who murdered love
18) Duran Duran – I don’t want your love
19) Sam Amidon – as I roved out
20) Celine Dion – misled (LP version)
21) Stefano Pulga – alone again
